Tired. Sick of revision. Fidgetty. Eatten too much suger. Sick of waiting for people to tell me that I'm worth something. Hormonally imballanced. Sick of obsessive brain. Tired of waiting for my life to start. Tired of waiting for the moment where everything changes. Bored of having unfilfilled plans and dreams. Despising the feeling of being chained down, hemmed in, put in a cage. Tired of trying to please everyone. Frustrated that I can never live up to my own expectations. Annoyed that whatever I do will never be enough. Disparing that I'm not taken seriously. Angry that I've created a persona designed not to be taken seriously. Feeling put-aside, disregarded, forgettable, invisible. Making it easy for people to disregard me. Angry that I never speak out. Angry that I hold my tounge because it's conveniant for someone else. Feeling destined to be the bad guy. Terrified that I will always be the one to make the sacrafices. Wanting what I can't have. Being to scared to take what I want. Making bad decisions. Hiding behind morality. Never saying exactly what I'm thinking. Never thinking about what I'm saying. Setting myself up to fail. Justifying other people's bad decisions. Never being utterly honest.
In spite of all the crap, the baggage, the neurosis, the self-doubt, anger and pain I drag around from day-to-day, I'm still aware of how much I have to be thankful for.
Life. Family. Love. Friends. Stability. Acceptance. Intelligence. Self-respect. Librality. Taste. Humour. Support. A future. Choices. Expectations. Patience. Insite. Empathy. Sincerity. Tact. Ability. Sympathy. Determination. Enthusiasm. Devotion. Grace. Talent. Opportunities. Morality. Consiousness. Chances. Peace.
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